Freshman Year Of College: The Challenge
Freshman year of college is all about mediums. Too much, too little, not enough. Sex, drugs, alcohol. Which ones to cut back on or quit all together. Which ones to do more of. Which ones will make you feel invincible. The thought being this old but feeling so young runs through us. It’s exciting. Our whole lives right in front of us. We don’t have to look back during this time. It’s all about looking forward. It always seemed simple to me, the future. People would come and go. Things would be new and then become old. One thing that was for sure though, was an ability I have to surround myself in a future reality. It’s far too easy to live in the future for me. I drive my car and what do I do? I turn up the music and sing along and picture myself in a different world. The only thing is, it’s not a different world. They are one. Most people would say living like this is just a delusion, but why not live in delusion? Why not live in a world where your every dream is a reality? Why not live in a world where anything is possible? Sure people laugh and they stare at you and they don’t understand, but that’s the fun of it. Even my best friend doesn’t understand me fully. That is the fun of it. My best friend wouldn’t be my best friend if either of us was “predictable.” I would have tossed her to the side a long time ago if she bored me. Why live your life with people who keep you in a stale reality? If you’re like me you need to live fast. You talk rapidly jumping around to numerous topics, your mind wanders and dances around any thought that’s entertaining, and sometimes you might even speak this craziness out loud. My dad always just looks at me like a chicken with its head cut off. A lot of people tell me I just need to slow down. I can’t. Maybe I wouldn’t be me if I didn’t jump from world to world. Maybe I wouldn’t be so crazy if I hadn’t gone through a lot of what I’ve gone through. Maybe you would know me better if you looked past normal, every day stereotypes. If you’re like me you are nothing like the usual. If you’re like me you laugh in the face of adversity and tell it to fuck off. In the end what you want to accomplish is your own. When you have nobody, you will always have those dreams, and you will always have your goals, and you will always have that drive that is like an unquenchable thirst. A craving to stand and fight for something bigger then yourself while still letting yourself live dangerously. We want life. To feel alive. To feel happiness, love, purpose. We want to be important. If you’re like me you want millions of eyes on you just to see if you can face the challenge.
Freshman year of college for me is not about the balance or finding “a happy medium.” … It’s about facing the challenge and taking it all.